Movie Making Nightmare: Debts Suck!
by waterdragonrai
Summary: What's that camera for? Oh my god! We have to WHAT? Or give up being ninjas? You can't be serious!
1. Why you never get angry in a casino!

Ok. So I got the idea for this about a month ago, while I was drying dishes at my work. It was original going to be an all yaoi idea, but then, I heard the song "That ain't my truck", and I wanted to add a yuri pairing, and it just grew from there. This is my first attempt at a truely humorous fic. I will be making character's OOC. But it should be funny. Do me a favor and **SAVE YOUR REVIEWS! **Why? Because I normally need a kick in my butt. If I don't post within a week or at the lastest two weeks, you guys need to review and verbal kick my butt, ok? Otherwise this will never get finished! On to the story!

**Movie Making Nightmare: Debts Suck!**

**Prologue:** _Why you never get angry in a casino._

Dammit! Not you too! You must be broken!" a feminine voice cried out in anguish. The sound of metal bending, breaking and denting underneath great force was heard.

"Um…Ma'am?" a timid voice asked from behind the irate blonde. The woman who looked about twenty spun around, only to see a young girl about fifteen cowering behind her. Her thin knees, exposed by her knee-length yellow yukata, were shaking, but she bravely stared her green eyes into the other woman's brown ones.

"C-C-Could you please stop breaking our machines?" the girl asked, her voice wavering at first, but growing stronger at the end. The woman noticed the room was quiet, deathly quiet. She looked around, and saw pairs of eyes staring at her, as her fellow gamblers looked up from their slot machine to stare at the scene she had just caused.

"I'm very sorry," the woman told the girl; bow her head to hide her embarrassed flush with her long blonde hair. Her eyes swept over the ruins of five slot machines. "I'll pay for the damages," the woman said. "_How much could one little itty bitty slot machine cost?" _she wondered.

"Really?" asked a man with a perfectly round torso and the face of a toad. The woman barely was able to suppress her gag reflex, let alone the shudder that ran through her body at the man's ugly face.

"They are about 300,000 yen each," the girl answered softly. The older woman winced.

_"Apparently a lot_."

"And that doesn't include shipping fees, which are another 20,000…each!" the man cried out joyously, a greedy grin on his face.

The veins on the woman's forehead pulsed in anger, and she picked up two new machines, and threw them at the wall.

"Now that's 2,290,000 yen!" the man cried out before he fainted in excitement.


	2. Ideas go boom like Deidara's birdy!

Yea, I know. That last chapter was really short, only one page with the author's note. I'm going to try and take this slow, because I hate it when people get together by like the second chapter. So unrealistic…well, except in high school, but people don't fall in actual love THAT fast. Please people!

And since I forgot last chapter, here's the first and last disclaimer. Think about it folks. If I actually own Naruto, don't you think I could work this idea into the damn storyline? And why would I be posting on this site? Please people…use that lump about six inches above your neck called a brain. And make this world a better, less stupid place.

**Movie Making Nightmare: Debts Suck!**

**Chapter 1: **_Ideas go boom like Deidara's birdy!_

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

Turn.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

Turn.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

Turn.

"What am I going to do, Shizune?" asked a feminine voice, voice cracking near the end of the sentence. The woman sounded like she was under tremendous stress, and was slowly reaching the end of her sanity and wits…and if the path worn into the wood floor of the room was any indication…probably was on the verge of physical collapse. The woman returned to her pacing.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

Turn.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

Turn.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

Turn.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

Turn.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

Turn.

"Stop!" a different female voice cried out. "Tsunade-sama, you're making me dizzy. Let's just think about it logically. Mission requests have been on the low side, right?"

"Yes. There have been no expensive missions lately. Ever since Akatsuki was defeated, the missions have just stopping coming."

"Well, there's got to be something you can do to make money," Shizune said to the severally depressed woman.

"I don't kno-"

"**Give it back!**"A young child's voice cut through the open window and the Hokage's statement like a kunai thrown from Tenten's hand at Neji's…um…head…yeeeaaaaaa…head…for insulting female ninjas cut through the air.

"Maybe you could borrow some from the Kazekage?" Shizune suggested, shouting over a different child's cry.

"**No way! You said you'd trade!**"

"No. Then I'd just have to find a way to pay back the Kazekage, which the same problem we're facing now," Tsunade answered, well, yelled back at Shizune.

"**Not fair! You CHEATED!**"

Shizune opened her mouth to voice another suggestion, but one of the voices floated like Deidara's bird threw the window and seemed to fly out Shizune's mouth. It was like the child was like Kankuro and Shizune was Karasu.

"**No! You said you'd trade Gaara and Neji for a Lee and Ino!**"

"**NO! YOU SAID YOU'D GIVE ME A SASUKE AND SAKURA!**"

"**WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?**" Tsunade screamed, marching to the window and looking down, her face read in anger.

There were two children on the ground, both female, both no more than six or so. The taller, older looking one had brown hair and wore a green shirt and blue shorts. She had a long scarf around her neck that trailed on the ground behind her. She was holding some sort of paper in her hand.

The younger girl had thick, curly blonde hair, half of which was pulled back into a bun, letting the rest fall down to her shoulders. She wore a pink dress with white shorts poking out from underneath. On her forehead were goggles, much like Konohamaru used to wear.

While the brunette looked up at the Hokage with a scared look on her face, the blonde just replied to the woman's question.

"**SHE STOLE MY GAARA NEJI PICTURE!**" the littler girl cried.

The brunette looked down at the girl, and shook her head. "**No! We traded! No trade backs!**"

"**No, no, no, no, NO! You said you'd give me a picture of Sasuke and Sakura!**"

"Wait! What are you talking about?"

The older girl looked up at the Hokage. "Our **kaiga,**" she answered.

"Huh?" the Hokage asked, her eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"Our kaiga!" the younger, blonde girl repeated, speaking to the Hokage like she was stupid. "You know, pictures of Konohagakure ninjas cuddling under trees, kissing under waterfalls, and stuff like that. **AND** **I WANT MINE BACK!**" she added, stomping her small foot clad in a pink Mary Jane rather than the typical ninja sandals.

"Give it back to her," the Hokage told the girl. The brunette opened her mouth, probably to complain, but complied quickly when the woman glared at her. She tossed the picture at the blonde who catch it gleefully. "I'll just get another one from Jiraiya," she muttered.

"**WHAT?**" the Hokage yelled, causing both girls to jump. She didn't notice as she spun away from the window. "**That perverted bastard! Taking dirty picture of my ninjas! I'll kill him!**" she yelled, smashing her desk in half with a single slap to the wood. Tsunade stomped toward the door, leaving imprints of her feet in the wood.

"Wait, Tsunade-sama!" the dark haired woman the Hokage forget was in the room called out.

The pissed woman spun back, her nostrils flaring angrily like a bull's while smoke billowed out with each exhale, making the woman look like a bull demon from hell…or Inuyasha. Shizune wasn't sure which it was.

"Those kids just gave me an idea. Hear me out, then you can kill Jiraiya…if you still want to," she said. The woman took a calming breath, and stood still as Shizune explained her brilliant idea.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'm going to stop here. It's a natural break. But here's the good news! After I post this, I'm going to continue typing today…so the next chapter should be coming sooner.


	3. Konoha Roller Coaster Ride

Currently listening to That Ain't My Truck. I got the urge to listen to it from reading my own author's note from the prologue! Weird, huh? I'm obsessed with that song and Puppet by Thousand Foot Krutch, Far Away by Nickelback and Pretty Girl (The Way) by Sugarcult. Listening to them as I write this. Anyone else think it's difficult to concentrate on writing when music is playing? Like you guys really care, huh? You just want me to go on with the story. Fine!

Oh! Yea, there's another part to this. You thought I'd go right to the story. Not sorry to disappoint. Muhahahaha! Anyways, if you have any criticism or critiques for this story, don't be afraid to express your opinion. It might help me write better. But if you have nothing helpful to say, only review if I take more than two weeks to update. Sometimes I forget about my stories, lose interest and my muses forget to beat me with their plot sticks, and the stories never get completed and then I delete them. So if you don't want that to happen, remind me about this story ever once and a while! Deal?

**Important: **It's time to rock the vote! Woo! Ok, so I can't decide what genre of movie to do. Here are your choices: horror movie, a Naruto world historical fiction (Hollywood style, meaning the facts are skewed), or a high school one (either American school system or Japanese…please specify if you vote for this.). You have two weeks to vote before I start making the new chapter. Ok? So VOTE! And if no one votes…well…then…I will do a surprise one.

**Movie Making Nightmare: Debts Suck!**

**Chapter 2: **_Konoha Roller Coaster Ride_

It was a sun shiny day, with not a cloud in the violently blue sky. Bluebirds were chirping happily, flitting around on their little blue wings, carrying worms in their mouths that seemed to dance happily, even though they were just flying to their deaths in the little bluebird children's mouths. Speaking of kids, many human children took the day off from training to go play in the river or play tag in the trees, laughing loudly, arguing loudly, and doing so so often that these kids made Naruto, Lee AND Gai look as quiet as Sai, which made many wish to punt the little buggers clear across the village, though few had the strength except Tsunade and Sakura. The breeze ruffled the leaves on the trees surrounding Konohagakure, making the old trees seem to shush the playing children like five thousand grumpy old men.

A bunch of teenagers sat underneath a tree, their faces bright red and sweaty. The various kunai and shuriken, plus the many discarded headbands baring a metal plate engraved with a spiral leaf, surrounding the group marked them as Konohagakure ninjas. Some of the ninjas were in various states of undress, due to the wicked hot day and the previous training.

"You suck, Tenten," complained a pink haired girl with jade eyes, her hand glowing with green chakra as she healed a large boy with brown hair's arm as he munched some BBQ flavored chips.

"Hey! We were training and I…you know what…it's to hot for this…" a brown haired, caramel eyed girl replied, her voice trailing away weakly. Tenten was sitting on a branch in the tree, her side facing everyone. Her hair was up in two buns, and she was grateful that it was. Her white shirt was clinging uncomfortably to her back with sweat, but she wasn't like Ino, who was sitting below her with her shirt off and enjoying the breeze blowing through her bandages. Sakura had unzipped her shirt to the point were you could see a lot of cleavage. Tenten did roll up her sleeves, and watched as her water bottle was past around without her permission or before she could even drink from it, but it was too hot to argue.

"I agree. It is too hot. If only I could-" started the white eyed, blue haired girl who was the heiress to the Hyuuga clan, before getting cut off by her older cousin with black hair and lavender-white eyes.

"No," he stated simply. She sighed, and fell back against the tree she was sitting under, the trunk now supporting her weight. Both cousins were in their usual clothing. The girl, known as Hinata, was wearing a long sleeved, heavy weight zip-up hoodie and capri length sweat pants. Her sandals lay at her feet, and her hand twitched, wishing to unzip her hoodie even a little, but her cousin next to her wouldn't allow it.

While Hinata was drenched in sweat, her cousin Neji seemed unfazed, sitting in his stereotypical mediation. His long black hair tumbled down his back, and his white robes weren't dirty at all. Everything from his neck down was covered except his hands and his toes. He didn't even shed his sandals. The only sign Neji gave that he might have been hot was the fact that he took a small sip from Tenten's water bottle, before passing it to Hinata. His unfazed state left many of the others to wonder if the guy was human. I mean, humans natural sweat and get flushed and dirty when it's hot, not sit calmly like this pale guy in front of them.

In fact, Naruto, who the heat made suddenly take off his shirt making Hinata faint, asked just that. Well…he really jumped up from where he was sitting and yelled it. And he didn't get an answer other than the Hyuuga's famous retort of 'Hn', so the blonde just sat right down, while Neji used some more of Tenten's water to splash Hinata in the face, waking her up. Tenten sighed, growing thirstier by the minute, as she watched her water used up. She vaguely wondered why everyone was using her bottle, when most of the others brought their own.

"AH! AKAMARU! STOP LICKING ME!" Hinata screamed when the water hit her face. Hinata threw her torso upwards back into a sitting position. She blushed ferociously, but no seemed to bat an eye at her state…um…screamment. She had never truly out grown her shyness, stuttering and habit of fainting around Naruto, though she has made great improvements, but the others had grown used to her habits in the five years everyone had known each other.

A little squirrel started to shout angrily at a noisy woodpecker. "Look at that," Lee said, pointing to the squirrel. Lee was the only one who seemed to have any energy left. He was doing sit-ups, to impress his 'beautiful cherry blossom'.

"Reminds you of Pervy Sage and Granny Tsunade, doesn't it?" Naruto said with a grin.

"Anyone else think they do it?" Ino asked, much to the groan of everyone else in the group, except Lee who was to busy counting sit-ups. Meanwhile, two things happened. The woodpecker started to peck more noisily and the squirrel started to shout more.

"Reminds me more of Sakura and Ino," another male voice said, a barking laugh following. Kiba leaned back as Ino tried to backhand him in the face from where she sat, accidentally hitting Shino who had just jumped down from his branch above Tenten's head to get a sip of her water bottle which Kiba had. Even SHINO was so hot he had his coat unbuttoned a bit, but no one was paying attention to what his face FINALLY looked like.

In retaliation, Shino let a few of his bugs drop onto Ino's head, causing a chain reaction. The bugs made her scream like a banshee, which caused Kiba and Akamaru's ears to bleed in pain and Akamaru to jump into Naruto, who fell forwards into Hinata's breasts, which made Hinata faint, which made Neji throw Naruto off Hinata's form into Sakura, who was just standing up after healing Choji, so the blow knocked Sakura off her feet, and Chojo tried to catch Sakura as she fell, making Sakura land in Choji's lap, causing her to blush, while Naruto cried like a little girl clutched his balls which Sakura managed to kick, which made ever guy in the vicinity wince in sympathy pain.

A kunai flew threw the air, almost pinning a noisy, playful squirrel to the tree in sat on. It turned its head upwards to stare at the kunai in fright before scampering away to hide in its little cubby and shit in fear. "That'll be you guys if you all don't shut up!"

"Oh, Sasuke-kun! You're so cool!" Ino cried.

"Oh Sasuke-kun! Thank you so much!" Sakura said, climbing out of Choji's lap in a hurry, and effectively hitting him in the balls as well.

"Sakura, stay the hell away from me!" cried Kiba, blood still dripping from his ears, as Sakura charged towards him and behind him, Sasuke. Kiba's hands flew to his lower region, to protect the only thing guys care about on their bodies.

Tenten just sat there laughing at everyone's antics. Ino and Sakura had reverted back to their _lovely_ little fangirl personalities when Sasuke had fought with the rest of them to defend the village against Pain. Everyone here managed to survive, but many, many good ninja like Kakashi had been lost. He was still greatly missed by Team Seven, who never talked about their mutual father-figure, comrade, teacher and friend. Nor did anyone talk about the days when Sasuke was in Orochimaru's molesting clutches.

The entire group heard someone approaching them and they all reacted accordingly. Ino grabbed Sasuke, while Sakura jumped in front to protect him. Kiba and Akamaru started to sniff the air like crazy and got in their stances. Shino's bugs crawled out of him and made a shield around Naruto and Choji, who were still dealing unfortunately with Sakura's hits. Lee got in his stance, while Neji picked up Hinata's still unconscious form to protect her. Tenten jumped down from the tree, landing in front of them all with eight kunai already summoned and ready for use.

A guy with a Konohagakure headband ran past Tenten, completely ignoring her. He stopped in the middle of the now relaxing group, and panted slightly.

"Hokage-sama…wishes…for…your…presence…now," he said. Everyone nodded, including the recently awoken Hinata, and disappeared into a cloud of smoke.

-:-

I'm going to stop here. I need to know what genre you all want. **Remember! You don't vote for a genre, you don't complain about what I pick!**

By the way, the rookie nine are eleven in the first series, so if five years have past, then they are 16, while Lee, Neji and Tenten are 17.


End file.
